I miss college. In college I was a chronic underachiever who just wanted to get drunk and have fun and yet I still managed to be more successful than 90% of my peers WHILE being beloved by all. As a “proper adult” I’m still a chronic underachiever but it turns out nobody really wants to pay you to be that so I’ve slipped way down in the rankings. And I feel so out of place in this post-collegiate world without any traditional ambitions or drive that I’ve gradually retreated from all my considerably-more-successful friends. I’ve become a sad, underachieving hermit who kinda hates himself most of the time and is beloved by very few. I’m lucky to have my girlfriend, because she keeps my head above water and keeps me from letting myself sink too far into my self-loathing, but it’s time for me to claw my way out of my self-dug hole. I need to remember what I and everybody else used to like about me. Sometime between getting my degree and now I feel like I lost myself. I need to read a book. I need to write a book. I need to go throw myself into random social situations and tell stories and jokes and rediscover the Cool Dude I once was. And then he and I need to hunker down and figure our shit out.